Marmiteboy - Urbane Warrior.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Smile Like You Mean It.

I had my first session with my hypno/pyscho therapist on Tuesday lunchtime. I wasn't hypnotherapied this time, my therapist merely wanted to get some background info on me. So I sat there while I was ask all manner of questions about my childhood and how I felt about what had happened during that time. It was an interesting exercise because although I had been thinking about how my childhood had affected my later life quite a bit over the last months it was quite cathartic to actually say it out loud.

Apparently I am pretty self aware, which I suppose gives me a head start. And although it will be hard work trying to raise my self-esteem and therefore putting an end to this anxiety and depression I have been experiencing, I am prepared to do the work. What's more I was given homework to do this week. Not only have I got to smile at people all the time instead of walking round with me head down I also have to ring three people this week for a chat (something I always put off because I don't want to impose on people and because I think they wouldn't possibly want to talk to me), I am to e-mail three people (something I'm better at) and I've got to talk to random people too, (in shops etc). So if you are accosted by a bloke with a stick in Tesco's who is rambling on about what a nice day it is have a heart and be nice. It might be me.

I was supposed to start today at the Health Spa I went to (I don't normally go to Health Spa's you understand, it was a birthday pressie from my sister and some friends). Supposedly I was to chat to people in the restaurant at lunchtime (I was the only one in there) and also chat to people in the various pools, steam rooms etc. I didn't do very well really. I found the whole place a bit scary really. I didn't feel comfortable about jumping in a hot tub with someone (and most of the people there were women) and starting chatting. Other people seemed to have no problem (but they were all there with someone else) but being there on my own I didn't want to invade peoples space and relaxation time.

Still it was my first day and it can only get better. With your permission I'll be recording my therapy sessions on this blog. I'm of the opinion that it will be beneficial to write my progress down as I go, and comitting it to the interwebnet will make me do it.

I tell you one thing about health spa's though. Them steam rooms don't half make you sweat;-)


Blogger Gimpy Mumpy said...

Hi MB! No mesmerism yet? @@
I'll be interested to see how your therapy sessions progress. Keep us posted! :)

Also have begun working out too but just in my brother's basement with him and Mr.M. I imagine your health spa has much better scenery and I dare say must smell better!
Do you have a friend you could bring with you, at least a few times, to the spa? I always did that at least until I felt more comfortable.

12:21 am

Blogger marmiteboy said...

Hi Mumpy,

It was a one off visit as it was a present from my sister for my birthday. I may well look into joining one locally though if it isn't too expensive. I have a good friend who goes to a gym that has a steam room, sauna and a pool so I might get details off of her.

I can only imagine what a basement gym that has been frequented by blokes must smell like :-0 My thoughts are with you>

1:57 pm

Blogger The Goldfish said...

Looking forward to hearing how the hypnotherapy goes. I tried it myself once but it was a disaster and I think the guy thought he could somehow help my physical symptoms as well as my depression. I was also slightly put off by how funny it all seemed and exhausted myself trying not to giggle!

However, the smile and talk strategy seems very positive indeed. Best of luck! :-)

4:11 pm

Blogger Charlesdawson said...

Good luck with it, MB, keep at it. It's a slow process and you may find some of it painful.

If you want to let off steam, you've got my email addy.

6:57 pm

Blogger marmiteboy said...

Thanks for your support folks. It wil probably be a bit rocky but I'm prepared for it. I found Tuesday fairly emotional in itself so I can imagine it will be a case of feeling worse before I feel better. I have done some Transactional Analysis in the past so I know the kind of emotoinal rollercoast to expect.

7:39 pm

Blogger jfsouthpaw said...

All the best with the therapy, MB. Your therapist has given some advice I should take myself, too. The phoning people one is one I might take up, as I hardly ever do that just for a chat with a friend, even though friends keep asking me too.

Not sure about talking to strangers in the Spa, though. It's not the sort of thing you can make happen, I mean, if you walk in on an interesting conversation or just bump into someone nice and friendly, easy. One time I swam around some bloke at the spa I go to and and we chatted in the jacussi and then he followed me around for the rest of the day....

Anyway, happy new year, Marmiteboy. Really hope it is a good productive one for you, if you know what I mean.


6:33 pm

Blogger marmiteboy said...

Thanks Jacqui,

It's quite a big step to overcome must admit. I phone my mate Lady B regularly and don't have qualms about doing that but with lots of my other friends I always feel a little awkward, as if I'm imposing.

Tell you what I'll phone my mates for a chat if you phone yours. How's that?

7:19 pm

Blogger jfsouthpaw said...

um, ok....

I phoned me dad this morning, and texted a few people, does that count?


10:42 pm

Blogger Katie said...

Glad all the therapy sessions are going well, and hope that you feel better by doing them. I find my counselling sessions help too, like your therapy sessions so we both have something that helps us enormously!

You have my permission to write your progress down here , I say do it if it helps you!

I'm not self concious or self loathing though as people can sometimes take me for though! I just find that friendships are a great healer in making me feel better.

Good luck sweetie! Hope it helps you lots!

Katie xxx

1:41 am

Blogger marmiteboy said...

I'm not sure texting counts actually. I haven't done any phoning yet as one of my mates I was going to phone turned up at my flat at lunchtime before I could ring up and suggest he popped round.

3:10 pm

Blogger jfsouthpaw said...

Oh Darn.

What about msn or Yahoo messenger...Why don't we cut out our friends altogether and ping each other 3 times a week?

I know, it is quite amazing I still have friends. They know I love 'em, but I'm just a bit phobic about phones.

I think meeting up with friends must count, that's got to be better than phoning, hasn't it?

7:58 pm

Blogger marmiteboy said...

I agree with that. Phoning does seem to be a bit sterile sometimes. It's great when you don't see soemone for ages (like me and Lady B) then you can be on the phone for hours (like me and Lady B) but in general I'm not really a fan. I feel much more comfortable speaking to people face to face.

Like the idea of pinging JF but unfortunately I my current pc is so knackered and old it won't do pinging, not by MSN anyway, I can't even get on the Hotmail site. I have to use either the library computer or a work pc to check my Hotmail address and neither allows pinging for obvious reasons.

It'll be nice to hear from you via e-mail though at my contact address on this blog. e can come up with cunning plans to get around our phone phobia.

2:32 pm

Blogger jfsouthpaw said...

OK, cheers, I'll give that a try...And feel free to email me too any time. I'm very happy about that.

I've decided I want to enjoy life more and have more fun...I know, easier said than done! Last year it was to be more positive and open. I think it has taken all year to really get to that 'place'. (2005 was Year Of The Counsellor for me and a lot rubbed off!) So maybe this time next year I'll be able to have/give/enjoy some of that ellusive fun with my friends, instead of indulging my serious side so much. But keeping in touch and phoning & writing letters is something I am really missing & want to get into. Hmmm, lets email. Good call.

11:55 pm

Blogger marmiteboy said...

I think 2006 is going to be 'The Year Of The Counsellor' for me .

Look forward to some e-mails.

7:10 pm


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