Marmiteboy - Urbane Warrior.

Friday, October 14, 2005

'Panic on the streets of London'

I feel a bit crap at the moment. I have been treated for anxiety on and off for about 7 years and last year had a another bad time of it. I have been told I'm having panic attacks although I'm not running around like haedless chicken thinking I'm about to die.

It's an unpleasent feeling nonetheless. It's like waking up from a nightmare, you know that horrid fluttering you get in your chest, except it doesn't ever go away. It is more acute at sometimes than others and for the last month or so it's been getting worse. I've recently changed my meds because of this but the new ones don't really seem to be doing the trick, I thought that they were earlier in the week but the anxiety has come back with avengence.

I'm a bit concerned because the last two times I felt like this I ended up being off work with it (last time was last year when was off for nearly six months!!). I don't know if it's stress, or depression or what. I am tired all the time, even if I've had a good nights sleep. When I went to the doctor last time he was really unhelpful. He told me that he didn't know why I should be feeling tired at my age (at least he thought was young ;-)). He offered no tests or treatment. I told him how long this had been going on but it didn't make any difference so I haven't got much faith in him. I will go back again next week and see if my meds can be upped a bit to stop this panicky feeling a bit but what I really need to learn to do is relax. I'm singularly shite at relaxing. My mind is always whirring round and I'm always on the go, which doesn't help my impairment either. I suppose it is something I might just have to learn to live with in the end. It's wearing me out though and really want to wake up one day not feeling like haven't just gone to bed or feel like I have just had a hideous nightmare.

Sorry for the moan folks, just needed to get it out of my system today.

2 Comments:

Blogger marmiteboy said...

Thanks Gimpy,

I do find books a great distraction. It's about the only thing that takes me away. I'm too cack handed for video games, although I can see the attraction I'm so rubbish at them I'd end up getting too stressed out.

Thanks again for your support,

MB

10:44 pm

 
Blogger marmiteboy said...

Thanks for you support folks.

1:02 pm

 

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