Marmiteboy - Urbane Warrior.

Friday, September 30, 2005

Predictive Text - Bane Of My Life.

If like me you have dreadful hand eye co-ordination (not because of any impairment you understand, I'm just crap), predictive text on mobile phones is a bloody nightmare. Let me explain.

I cannot text without looking at my thumb tapping away on the phone buttons. If I did what most people did i.e. look at the screen, I'd be in a right old muddle. It would next to impossible for me to hit the right letters. Predictive text, unfortunately, makes things even more difficult. You see predictive text is actually pretty unpredictable. Often I find on checking the screen after typing my message (and Lady Bracknell's secretary companion will tell you I don't always check) I find that what I thought I'd typed is not actually what is in the message. So in the interests of nothing in particular I've been collecting words than when typed in predictive text magically turn into other words entirely.

awake - cycle
him - gin
he - if
socks - rocks
queer - steep
mine - mind
stay - ruby
cat - act
bell - cell
fuck - eval (which isn't even a word!!)
ham - gan (neither is this!!)
three - tired
nine - mind
me - of
good - gone
crips - crisp
tricks - trials

As we can see predictive text is a load of bollocks or in predictive text language colloaks (look that up in the dictionary, you won't find it).

5 Comments:

Blogger JustinR said...

Oh, Marmite! you really should turn off predictive texting, lol.

I hate the concept myself. There's no need for it really.

Well, that isn't the only reason why i hate it. Predictive texting would be a nightmare for me, for obvious reasons. I always text cold.

4:34 pm

 
Blogger The Goldfish said...

One has to ask... why would you bother typing three or nine as a word on a mobile phone keypad? I can't be doing with this "txt" language but I would certainly type numbers as numbers, not words... and I'm sure that it is very rare occasion that you use a certain word beginning with F in any communication - Lady B describes you as a 'gentleman'.

I used to have a spell-checker attached to my e-mail client which recognised hardly any Christian names. Everytime I sent an e-mail it would want to change Caroline to Carbonate, Pete to Peat and my particular favourite, Deborah to Debonair.

9:49 pm

 
Blogger marmiteboy said...

The only weird thing I've ever been sent was birthday balloons wot Lady B sent me for my 40th, I'm hoping for more strange stuff one day.

I think typing in numbers in text rather than figures harks back to my school days. We were told in our English lessons that we couldn't write numbers as figures in essays and it's always stuck with me for some reason.

Lady B is of course right when she refers tome as a gentleman.I do sometimes write sweary words in text messages but it is only to report what some ruffian or other has said.

I am an angel and butter wouldn't melt in my mouth ;-)

12:22 pm

 
Blogger The Goldfish said...

The weirdest thing I ever got in the post was probably live snails. My Mum has a habit of sending me shower-caps. I don't know what that's about as I don't have a shower. I think they amuse her - they are a highly decorative type with a bit of a frill on and each design has a lady's name.

Yesterday my Mum sent me a plastic flashing pumpkin from B&Q. She said, "I saw it and just thought of you."

3:09 pm

 
Blogger stella said...

I'm quite the fan of predictive text myself, although am often amused when my phone comes up with completely nonsense words as a substitute for ACTUAL words. For example, when trying to meet my friends at local pub The Cornish Arms, all my phone could produce for 'cornish' was 'bosniri'. Now how on earth is 'bosniri' in there, and 'cornish' isn't?

On the other hand, my sister loathes predictive text, as it has prompted many of us to give her a new nickname. Her actual name is Romy, but the predictive text version is generally 'snow'.

12:04 am

 

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