Marmiteboy - Urbane Warrior.

Sunday, March 16, 2008


I seem to be getting grumpier the older I get. Not with my friends and family you understand but with the world in general and the people who inhabit it and run it. I find myself shouting at the radio more and more when some idiot says something stupid, which I'm afraid to say is happening more and more. Whether it is the Daily Mail/Express brigade texting, emailing or ringing in to BBC Radio Five Live, or some of their ludicrous presenters saying inane things about tragic events, it doesn't seem to matter. It pisses me right off and I go into rant mode.

I'll give you an example. Someone has just lost their possessions and very probably their home in a natural disaster such as the floods we incurred recently. Inane presenter/'journalist' asks said person "How are you feeling" strangely the person on the end of the question doesn't say "Fuck me, I'm brilliant thanks. Losing my home was just what I have always dreamed of. It's opened up all kinds of opportunities for me for a start. I've always wanted to be on tele/radio and now I can look forward to a couple of days being interviewed by fuckwit presenters asking stupid questions on news programmes".

You get the picture. However, my grumpy old man syndrome doesn't end there. More and more things are winding me up. F'instance, why do people insist on walking on the right in corridors, on staircases in railway stations etc. When I last looked we drive on the left in the UK so it isn't a great leap to work out that we should walk on the same side. It is amazing the amount of people stroll along on the right and expect me to move!!!

And another thing whilst I'm here, British terrestrial TV is shite. Thankfully the obsession with fly on the wall TV is slowly waning but it has been replaced with either celebrity 'talent' shows or audition TV. I remember a time when if you wanted to go on a talent show (and thankfully I never did) you had to go to an audition and all the really bad people (as opposed to just the bad ones who made on to the show) were weeded out. Not any longer they're not. They are actually given air time. It has bred a whole host of people who just want to be famous regardless of the fact that they are being ridiculed. I can't watch this car crash TV and find it hard to understand why anyone would either want to be on it or watch it.

I believe there is an agenda to make people look stupid so that it attracts viewers. Television producers are going out of their way to find the really bad people so that overpaid nobodies can slag them off and make them feel bad in front of millions of people. Some might argue that people have a choice whether they go on these programmes or not, but I don't think that is the point. People always did enter things like this but they were not publicly humiliated if they failed miserably.

Programmes like 'Dragons Den' and the 'Apprentice' are make TV stars of people whose job it seems is to be rude and intolerant of others. On the one occasion I have had the misfortune to watch 'Dragons Den' I saw several people whose 'products' were so ridiculous that it beggared belief They were still allowed on though so some nasty businessman could rip them to shreds and tell them they were morons. Obviously they were chosen because they were crap and were going to get ripped apart and that is unacceptable. The press are always harping on about the youth of today having no respect for anyone or anything yet they champion TV programmes that perpetuate this kind of behaviour. You'll probably say that I have an off button and don't have to watch any of this. Well I do use it and I don't watch any of it. It is nasty and brain numbing and I'd rather do almost anything else.

Well that was strangely cathartic. I feel much better for getting that off my chest. I might even turn the telly on in a minute, or walk down a corridor or even turn on the radio...



Blogger Lady Bracknell said...

I - er, I mean, Lady Bracknell - wrote something equally scathing about not dissimilar types of programming some time ago...

I walk on the right hand side of corridors because doing so was beaten in to me at school.

But whatever side of the corridor a non-disabled individual deems to be appropriate, common courtesy would seem to dictate that they should be the one to move if someone with an obvious mobility impairment is on a collision course with them.

Sadly, common courtesy has gone the way of the woolly mammoth.

2:45 pm

Blogger Planet Mondo said...

Totally agree with you - almost all TV has become hopeless, and most prime time viewing is unwatchable. One channel gets a half baked idea and every other bugger reworks and reformats it to death. Tacky as seventies TV talent shows could be, at least the acts/turns had spent some time refining what they did, judged by a panel who had some experience in that area. But now it's the least you need to do, done badly - judged by Danni Minogue.
Have you gone digital yet. It's unwatchable literally, with more break ups than Kate Moss and 'no signal' as regular viewing.

And DAB has become unlistenable
See here for more on this

If you need to something to perk you up - check your myspace messages, sent you a link to a crazily funky album

11:33 am

Blogger The Goldfish said...

I do find this fashion for reading out the opinions of everyone who has texted (sp?) in very funny. Mitchell and Webb did a sketch about this on their radio show a while back, when there are newsreaders asking "Do you have an opinion on this issue? Text in and e-mail us. Do you have no opinion on this at all? Well we want to hear about that too..."

Eventually news comes in that aliens are attacking and destroying the Earth, but they keep reading out these banal messages, things like "You can say what you like about Hitler, but he wouldn't have stood for this alien invasion." or "After ten years of a Labour government, an alien invasion has become inevitable."

I'm all for giving people a voice, but there are few important arguments that can be summed up in a text message. It kind of legitimises people's stupidity; after all, if all you need to do to get your view aired is to have an opinion, you're not going to spend too much time considering its merits.

Hmm yes, a most cathartic post.

5:55 pm

Blogger Piley said...

good to have you back Marm!

Agree with all you say. I hate these R5 shows where they says "text in and give us your opinion on this story"... quite frankly, if you can get your thought on the story over in the space of a fuckin text message, then you are very likely an ed-jit!

How about coucils (Southend say!) who spend vast amounts of money stealing half of your pavement to make a bike lane (whoo Piley, thant sounds sensible...) and then the people walk in both lanes and so do the cyclists! fucking both up, and in less space too!marvelous!

10:40 pm

Blogger marmiteboy said...

not really against the texting into shows. I've done it meself and had 'em read out but I really hate phone in type programmes that only seem to allow the extremes on their shows. There is no middle ground. It is either the hang 'em up by the balls or let them all out.

Goldfish. I saw that Mitchell and Webb sketch and it was very funny and very close to the truth.

Piley. Don't talk to me about cyclists...(I can feel another rant coming on)

8:25 am

Blogger E F RICE said...

You grumpy git MB !

Must disagree on The Apprentice, I find this essential viewing as I personally enjoy all these wanna be's with their massive egos being brought down to earth with a bang. The tasks do look genuinely tough and I feel there is slightly more to keep you interested than the run of the mill reality stuff.

By the way I am with you 100% on everything else.

10:15 am

Blogger Dame Honoria Glossop said...

TV is mostly tripe. Ensconced like a household shrine in a corner of the room, it's the new religion, truly the opium of the people.

When I interview potential employers to see if they're fit to employ me, I'd run a metaphorical mile if they were anything like Sir Alan Sugar.

And that leads rather neatly onto the 'honours' system. Anyhing less honourable is difficult to imagine, grr, grr, grr ....

I prefer books to TV anyway.

Thank you, I feel much better now.

4:21 pm

Blogger Kippers said...

Brilliant post - I was nodding along in agreement as I read that.

My own latest pet hate among all these programmes are those "edgy" quizzes where the contestants are encouraged to argue, bluff and then stitch each other up at the end. What's that one with Jasper Carrott? Golden Balls? Truly unpleasant - and all at 5pm every evening on ITV. I'm just glad I grew up when we had dear old Bob Holness and Blockbusters setting the yoof an example!

8:16 pm


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